Passion for life. Passion for love. Passion for passion…
I am a lucky person. I did found my passion in life – food. I love what i do – however im not sure if i am lucky to work what i work… probably not.
Making food is an ART for me. It is not a job. Definitely not.
I feel i am disappearing slowly… exactly the same way how my working hours are increasing. I become a chef 24hours – not a person anymore.
I might need help. Is this only me who is feeling like this? No matter what… the only thing i want to think: is food. The only thing i want to read about: is food. The only thing i want to talk about: is food… etc etc…
I am going to bed with ideas running around in my head… about food. And wake up with thoughts what to bake in the morning.
I totally forgot how to relax and chill. I dont know how to take it easy or slowly anymore. I feel i waste time if i dont “do something” – experimenting or brainstorming… time is ticking. Relax means a bottle of wine for me.
I work very precisely. This is very important. Do it with perfection – or dont do it at all.
I am afraid that i am going in a wrong direction. I am afraid that people dont understand me. They dont understand why i work extra hours for free. Why i dont mind to spend my freetime with experimentations or why i love to spend my money for crazy ingredients to find new flavours and surprising effects.
I dont watch televisión, dont read newspapers… i dont really give a f*ck about whats happening in the world. What matters is the exact texture of the meringue for a perfect macaron or the baking time for a bitter chocolate soufflé…
I know its far too much. But where is the point of stop? When do u know that your knowledge is enough and should not run anymore? The whole life is a lecture – and we need to keep learning and develop all the time for ever and after.
Friends tell u: u are good.
People tell u: u are good.
Family tells u: u are good.
And u still believe – u are not good enough. Crazy shit.
Others do job what they dont enjoy – even more – they hate their jobs. However they still keep doing it for all of their lifetime… BUT after all when the time comes they close the door – leave the work and have a life. HAVE A LIFE.
MY JOB IS MY LIFE.
Soooooo… i love every single minute i spend in the kitchen. Love the touch of strong flour, smell of melting butter. Kindof makes me wet.
What else i have in my life?
I have my beautiful family – but i do work far away because of my job. I feel guilty – but not that much to sacrifice myself and move back home. Having no roots – sucks.
I have friends – but all around the world because i travel all the time.
I travel a lot. Maybe because i wanna learn more about the food of other parts of the world. I just simply can not sit in my ass for long.
I have a recipe book – my life since i realice myself.
The main purpose is feeding people. Costumers pay to fill their stomach and kill their apetite. Nowadays its not really like that.
I want to make u happy. I really do. But i hate u if u can not enjoy eating. If u want to get rid of the feeling of an empty stomach – fuck yourself to McDonalds. And u dont need to know the difference between puff pastry or filo pastry – but please know the difference between raw pastry or a burned one. Its not atom physics.
footnote: society goes in a wrong direction – celebrity shows and media influence the “general taste” what make people having know f*cking clue about real food, an average person simply dont know what to like, the difference between something tasty and something absolutely horrible
And yes – i do work 14 hours a day – if its necessary. I stay more if the eclairs are not perfect and the soufflé is not rising with perfection.
And yes – i dont mind to spend a fortune for good and quality food in the last corner of the world but dont make me angry serving shit and asking for a salary amount of money.
And yes – maybe i am not that intelligent talking about the Financial Situation in Switzerland or the Political Changes in Columbia… but i can not save the world or the starving children in Ethiopia so i rather take care of my Shitty Little Life instead of pretening to be Superman or “WorldPeace Miss America”.
I am just a chef. Lost in my world. The world of FOODPORN. ART OF PASSION.
I just hope that my family understands me – and knows how much i love them.
I just hope that my friends accept me – and with a little brain starting to using me (as their personal chef who always needs a tasting group :))))
I just hope that my colleagues feel a bit like me – otherwise i am working in a wrong team. I am nothing by myself but everything in a decent team.
Life in the kitchen is not a fluffy cake. I work hard. Dont make me feel like a stupid uneducated worker. Dont paint my future about dying alone in a poor flat with cats around…just because i have no time for cinema and minigolf. These times are over.
I speak 4 languages and know much more about hygiene, physics, chemical reactions, aroma and flavour molecules than normal people. I would say: i know exactly what u are going to feel like eating before u even realize that u sit in a restaurant.
Enjoy your dinner…